It's durian season -- yay! I haven't had a decent durian in way too long. Oh and rambutans and mangosteens, too. I absolutely love mangosteens.
I met Rosie and some other friends for supper last night. She introduced me to this guy called Timothy who was here to conduct a week-long audio and music workshop. He looked at us and asked if we were sisters, and we both simultaneously said, "Best friends." That made me smile.
I saw The Lake House, and though it was slow at first and rather bizzare (I mean, c'mon, this woman is communicating with a guy from the past?), I enjoyed it immensely. I almost cried at the end.
I counted the books I've read over the past five months since I've been home and the total came to 23 books. I've never read so much before. I guess I've never had so much time before either. I just finished J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. That is one of the most randomest books I've ever read! Can someone please tell me why it's considered one of the great American novels? I didn't get it. Now I'm reading Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. I adore her.
My church is gonna have a new senior pastor, and I'm excited about that. We're gonna have to go through a time of readjusting and what not, but I think it's gonna be great. I can't wait to meet him this week!
Lish and I were talking about how Pres. Roberts is truly a teacher 'cause he can somehow say the same things every honor-code chapel every semester with the same gusto, like he's saying it for the first time. My favorite P. Rob quote is, "When God tells you to jump, you say how high on the way up." Oh we were in stitches. That man can be so hilarious, without meaning to of course.
I'm gonna attempt to exercise for the first time in two years this afternoon. I'm already dreading it. I dislike perspiring.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
My God!
This song has been and still is the cry of my heart.
There must be more than this
O breath of God, come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God, we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your Name
Spirit of God
Would You fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way with us
Come like the rushing wind
Cloth us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall
Consuming fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Would You fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way with us
Stir it up in our hearts, Lord
Stir it up in our hearts, Lord
Stir it up in our hearts
A passion for Your Name.
Bear with me here, this is gonna be a long post.
I had the most amazing late night/early morning time with God today, which lasted five hours. Oh my gosh, it was nothing short of amazing! But let's back track a little. A team from Youth Alive from an AG church in West M'sia came and held a conference, and little did I know how powerfully God was gonna use this time. I have been experiencing a dry period in my spiritual life, because I chose to continue in my obstinacy and rebel instead of relying on God for strength. I felt that I had a right not to obey. Yeah, I know, it sounds so foolish writing that now but believe me, it wasn't three months ago. Oh no.
Last Sunday, the director of YA, Ps. Julie Khoo, spoke on prayer. Now, I am not boasting when I say that I've pretty much heard most of all there is to say about the virtues of prayer, having been brought up in church all my life and having attended a Christian uni where there were chapel services twice weekly. So forgive my arrogance, but I did sincerely feel like there's nothing about prayer that I didn't already know. But instead of getting a "how-to" from Ps. Julie, we got testimony after testimony of the power of prayer in her life. And it is exciting! She was literally bursting with excitement for her God and King! It was so refreshing to see that. So, yes, the Holy Spirit convicted me, and I told Him I will start praying again.
Now, the problem with me about spending time with God is not really an issue of discipline -- whether I can wake up or do it consistently. The problem with me is that I have no real desire to want to know God. It might be shocking to some, seeing how I've been a Christian for 23 long years, but yes, the truth was, I couldn't care less. Yes, I know He died for me and it's all good, but it just wasn't personal. And I didn't want this time to be like the others, where I spent time with God because it was my duty.
But even though I was apathetic, God had started a stirring in my heart. When I heard the song above, I knew that was what I wanted. I couldn't stand being a nominal Christian anymore! I knew I needed a change. Then the second stirring came during last Sunday's preaching. So on Monday, I started praying. I didn't spend more than five minutes on it, but at that time I thought, hey, five minutes is better than none, right? I earnestly cried out to Jesus to create in me such a hunger and desire for Him in my life like never before. I told Him that I know that if He doesn't give me this desire, if He doesn't revive my heart, there is no way I can do it on my own. I can't make the desire to want God more in my life; He has to do it! And so I cried out to God, and quoted Jer. 33:3, which says
The whole time, I just kept repeating this promise that He implanted in my heart.
On Tuesday, nothing happened.
But woah, on Wednesday, after I got back from cell group, my mind was racing 100 miles a minute because of all that God had started to show me. I started journaling everything that He impressed upon my heart, and the more I wrote and read the Bible, the more excited I got. I would have shouted for joy if it wasn't past midnight! Oh, I was filled with joy overflowing. My cup ran over and over and over and over! I couldn't stop thanking God, praising God and praying and rejoicing! He revealed so many things to me, that I filled 25 pages of my journal!
OH my gosh, this is so powerful! I cannot believe I've missed it all this time! But God reminded me of Ecc. 3 which says somewhere along the lines of, there is a time and season for EVERYTHING. I believe this breakthrough came only today was because it was meant to be for such a time as this. The time of weeping is over; the time of breaking down is over; the time of mourning is over. For His joy and laughter has come and it is time to rebuild His altar in my heart!
OK, here's the revelation: That pursuing a love-relationship with MY PERSONAL God is the MOST IMPORTANT thing I will ever do. It will be the most fulfilling and satisfying thing in my life on earth. This is what I was made for! I was made to have an intimate relationship with my Creator and Master! OK, so some of you may be like, huh? Well, duh? I don't know if I can convey what this means to me to you. It's like something clicked on the inside of me, and for the first time, what I know in my MIND has made the huge leap into my HEART. This is only now real to me!
The Psalmist in Ps. 84 said, "For a day in your courts is better than a thousand [elsewhere]." When I re-read this verse yesterday, my whole being cried out because THIS is what I want, above all else! I want to be able to say, that yes, I've experienced the Lord's awesome and powerful presence, and even though it's only ONE day, I would rather have this day than a thousand elsewhere, climbing that corporate ladder and making millions. Why? Because the fame and millions I will not be able to take with me, once my earthly body perishes. Yes, I've been told this many times, but it is only now that I feel the weight of it all.
I mean, c'mon! What is the point of busting my butt at building my career and making money so that I will live comfortably and can afford a private jet, mansions, private islands, designer clothes, personal trainers and chefs when NONE of them will follow me in the afterlife? I forfeit all wealth, recognition and fame at death. I am in my mid-20s, and I'm probably only gonna live for the another 60 years (God-willing). How can earthly riches COMPARE to building up treasures in heaven, where no moth or rust will destroy and where I can enjoy for ALL ETERNITY? Can we just let that word, ETERNITY, sink in for a moment. It means FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! Just like my relationship with Jesus will last forever and ever and ever 'til the end of days and some more. My relationship with God will transcend death. Isn't it so much more worthwhile to run after God and love Him for the next 60 years and BEYOND? Earthly riches can only satisfy me for the next six decades, and it can only satisfy me in my flesh. But, my Lord Jesus Christ, can and will satisfy me in my body, mind and soul -- every single part of me. When I focus my eyes on Jesus, everything else that this world has to offer pales in comparison to my awesome God. He is my all-consuming fire.
I sense a revival coming in Ssbah, and various men and women of God have spoke prophetically about this ever since I came back three months ago. I give all glory to God for answering my prayer of giving me a hunger for Him. Oh! He answered my prayer exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or imagine! He surpassed my human expectations! Not only that, He answered me and showed me great and mighty things when I cried out to Him! This is the time and season for me to rise up, to forsake the old, and embrace this new thing the Lord has started in me! I am so thankful to my God, and to my mom who never stopped praying for me.
Lord, God, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for rekindling this fire within me for You. Continue to fan the flame Lord, and to keep it burning until the day I meet You face to face or Your second coming. Come quickly Lord!
There must be more than this
O breath of God, come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God, we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your Name
Spirit of God
Would You fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way with us
Come like the rushing wind
Cloth us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall
Consuming fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Would You fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way with us
Stir it up in our hearts, Lord
Stir it up in our hearts, Lord
Stir it up in our hearts
A passion for Your Name.
Bear with me here, this is gonna be a long post.
I had the most amazing late night/early morning time with God today, which lasted five hours. Oh my gosh, it was nothing short of amazing! But let's back track a little. A team from Youth Alive from an AG church in West M'sia came and held a conference, and little did I know how powerfully God was gonna use this time. I have been experiencing a dry period in my spiritual life, because I chose to continue in my obstinacy and rebel instead of relying on God for strength. I felt that I had a right not to obey. Yeah, I know, it sounds so foolish writing that now but believe me, it wasn't three months ago. Oh no.
Last Sunday, the director of YA, Ps. Julie Khoo, spoke on prayer. Now, I am not boasting when I say that I've pretty much heard most of all there is to say about the virtues of prayer, having been brought up in church all my life and having attended a Christian uni where there were chapel services twice weekly. So forgive my arrogance, but I did sincerely feel like there's nothing about prayer that I didn't already know. But instead of getting a "how-to" from Ps. Julie, we got testimony after testimony of the power of prayer in her life. And it is exciting! She was literally bursting with excitement for her God and King! It was so refreshing to see that. So, yes, the Holy Spirit convicted me, and I told Him I will start praying again.
Now, the problem with me about spending time with God is not really an issue of discipline -- whether I can wake up or do it consistently. The problem with me is that I have no real desire to want to know God. It might be shocking to some, seeing how I've been a Christian for 23 long years, but yes, the truth was, I couldn't care less. Yes, I know He died for me and it's all good, but it just wasn't personal. And I didn't want this time to be like the others, where I spent time with God because it was my duty.
But even though I was apathetic, God had started a stirring in my heart. When I heard the song above, I knew that was what I wanted. I couldn't stand being a nominal Christian anymore! I knew I needed a change. Then the second stirring came during last Sunday's preaching. So on Monday, I started praying. I didn't spend more than five minutes on it, but at that time I thought, hey, five minutes is better than none, right? I earnestly cried out to Jesus to create in me such a hunger and desire for Him in my life like never before. I told Him that I know that if He doesn't give me this desire, if He doesn't revive my heart, there is no way I can do it on my own. I can't make the desire to want God more in my life; He has to do it! And so I cried out to God, and quoted Jer. 33:3, which says
Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not.
The whole time, I just kept repeating this promise that He implanted in my heart.
On Tuesday, nothing happened.
But woah, on Wednesday, after I got back from cell group, my mind was racing 100 miles a minute because of all that God had started to show me. I started journaling everything that He impressed upon my heart, and the more I wrote and read the Bible, the more excited I got. I would have shouted for joy if it wasn't past midnight! Oh, I was filled with joy overflowing. My cup ran over and over and over and over! I couldn't stop thanking God, praising God and praying and rejoicing! He revealed so many things to me, that I filled 25 pages of my journal!
OH my gosh, this is so powerful! I cannot believe I've missed it all this time! But God reminded me of Ecc. 3 which says somewhere along the lines of, there is a time and season for EVERYTHING. I believe this breakthrough came only today was because it was meant to be for such a time as this. The time of weeping is over; the time of breaking down is over; the time of mourning is over. For His joy and laughter has come and it is time to rebuild His altar in my heart!
OK, here's the revelation: That pursuing a love-relationship with MY PERSONAL God is the MOST IMPORTANT thing I will ever do. It will be the most fulfilling and satisfying thing in my life on earth. This is what I was made for! I was made to have an intimate relationship with my Creator and Master! OK, so some of you may be like, huh? Well, duh? I don't know if I can convey what this means to me to you. It's like something clicked on the inside of me, and for the first time, what I know in my MIND has made the huge leap into my HEART. This is only now real to me!
The Psalmist in Ps. 84 said, "For a day in your courts is better than a thousand [elsewhere]." When I re-read this verse yesterday, my whole being cried out because THIS is what I want, above all else! I want to be able to say, that yes, I've experienced the Lord's awesome and powerful presence, and even though it's only ONE day, I would rather have this day than a thousand elsewhere, climbing that corporate ladder and making millions. Why? Because the fame and millions I will not be able to take with me, once my earthly body perishes. Yes, I've been told this many times, but it is only now that I feel the weight of it all.
I mean, c'mon! What is the point of busting my butt at building my career and making money so that I will live comfortably and can afford a private jet, mansions, private islands, designer clothes, personal trainers and chefs when NONE of them will follow me in the afterlife? I forfeit all wealth, recognition and fame at death. I am in my mid-20s, and I'm probably only gonna live for the another 60 years (God-willing). How can earthly riches COMPARE to building up treasures in heaven, where no moth or rust will destroy and where I can enjoy for ALL ETERNITY? Can we just let that word, ETERNITY, sink in for a moment. It means FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! Just like my relationship with Jesus will last forever and ever and ever 'til the end of days and some more. My relationship with God will transcend death. Isn't it so much more worthwhile to run after God and love Him for the next 60 years and BEYOND? Earthly riches can only satisfy me for the next six decades, and it can only satisfy me in my flesh. But, my Lord Jesus Christ, can and will satisfy me in my body, mind and soul -- every single part of me. When I focus my eyes on Jesus, everything else that this world has to offer pales in comparison to my awesome God. He is my all-consuming fire.
I sense a revival coming in Ssbah, and various men and women of God have spoke prophetically about this ever since I came back three months ago. I give all glory to God for answering my prayer of giving me a hunger for Him. Oh! He answered my prayer exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or imagine! He surpassed my human expectations! Not only that, He answered me and showed me great and mighty things when I cried out to Him! This is the time and season for me to rise up, to forsake the old, and embrace this new thing the Lord has started in me! I am so thankful to my God, and to my mom who never stopped praying for me.
Lord, God, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for rekindling this fire within me for You. Continue to fan the flame Lord, and to keep it burning until the day I meet You face to face or Your second coming. Come quickly Lord!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)